Eulogy

These are the words from our Eulogy.



I would like to touch upon 4 things as I try to encapsulate the life and legacy of my daughter Penelope.

I'd like to speak about Hope, Love, and Faith. I'd also like to speak about Legacy. What I think her legacy will be... For me personally, for my family, and her legacy for the world in general.

Hope-
Penelope was conceived at one of the most trying times in my life and the life of our family. Towards the later part of our time in Florida things were not going very well for us. Actually things were going horribly. And in the midst of those times we find out we are expecting a baby. Not exactly the most exciting news at that time. We were barely making it...to then have to worry about another mouth to feed. It was an impossible situation for me as a father. But as impossible as the situation felt, the more I became hopeful. Knowing she was coming made hope grow in me. Trust me, I had no idea how we would make it, how we would manage with food, clothes. Really there was no way for us to make it. Yet I was hopeful. Her conception gave me a sense that everything was going to be okay.

I had been a blind optimist in the past. My wife can attest to that, almost to a fault. Hope was never in short supply in my everyday. But as you grow older and life becomes a little harder that hope starts to diminish.  It was all but gone in my life last year. Penelope restored my hope. She made me a blind optimist again. She made me believe that the impossible was possible.

Penelope put back hope into my life.

Love-
Anyone that is married or in a committed relationship knows the trials of being in a relationship. My wife and I endured a lot of hardship last year. Enough hardship to damage the strongest bond. We questioned ourselves, our relationship, our love. We lived a good part of our time last year in a "there but not there" state.  I was too busy trying to figure out a way to keep us afloat. She was too busy trying to keep the house and kids going. We argued, we cried, we stayed silent, we started to grow apart. The last thing we were planning was adding a third child into the equation. But after multiple pregnancy tests, and a few more pregnancy tests... We instantly fell in love with the idea of her. All the pain of the year was healed and we rallied around the baby growing inside of Leslie. Our family was restored. Even more than we had ever been. And Penelope gave us that.

Penelope put love back into my life.

Faith-
I believe in God.
But what I learned most from Penelope is faith.
I always believed in the Lord but I never had faith in him.
Faith to provide for me. I always carried that burden myself.
Faith to show favor on me. I always believed in making my own luck.
I never believed in lucky breaks.
But when you have nothing and have a family to take care of you become a little more humble to new frames of thinking.

So as we made our transition back to the tristate area and the pressure of rebuilding a life here with a child on the way I prayed for help for me and my growing family.
I prayed a prayer of submission. I told God that I could not longer do it on my own.
I prayed this on my way to see an apartment for us...
An apartment that the landlord didn't even want to show me because she never rented it to someone with kids.
But I still went to see it because I wanted to see the neighborhood.
So as I get to the apartment and knock on the door one of my oldest friends happens to be the downstairs tenant.  David Inigo, I hadn't seen him in years an out of all the Craigslist Ads I picked the one where one of my good friends lived. I instantly felt God and knew fate brought me there. I knew I was taking the apartment...even without seeing it. So David put in a good word and the land lady took us in despite our financial troubles.
That day gave me faith for months.
There have been so many instances where tiny miracles happened. Especially for Penelope. I can tell you I had not worried one day for anything she ever needed. She was blessed and in turn blessed us. So my faith is as strong as it has ever been. And Penelope gave that to me.

Penelope gave me faith.

Legacy-
My Mom, as we were in the midst of this tragedy, told me that God may have lent us Penelope for a purpose and took her when he needed her back.

Ella era prestada.
She was borrowed.

It's hard to think of it like that.  As I come to grips with her passing I am devastated. I am heart broken. I will feel this pain for eternity. But at the same time I feel a peace. Because I do believe she did serve a bigger purpose in her life and in her death.

In her life, she restored hope and love into our home. She gifted me faith. She came into our lives when we needed her the most...When I needed her the most and I believe she left knowing I would be okay. She taught me and ministered to me more than anyone I have ever met in my life. So the promise I make to Penelope is to not squander the gifts she has given me.  I will continue to hope big hopes. I will continue to love my family dearly. I will continue to have faith that the Lord had a grand purpose for her and our family. We will always love her and remember the impact she had on our lives.

In her death, she was able to be a donor to 3 children who's families were praying for a miracle. We do not have much info yet on the recipients but pray for their recovery. And pray they are able to live the lives she was not able to.

She also has impacted countless others. From those in this room... to the first responders and doctors, nurses, hospital staff, social workers, and total strangers. She gave love to you as well.  If you hugged your child a little harder and kissed them a little longer because of Penelope than her legacy will be one of love. And I believe that is what she has meant to the world. Love.

Thank you.