It was a hard weekend to get through. Penny's first
birthday was on Saturday. We spent Friday evening recalling our trip to the
hospital to give birth. We talked about how easy the labor was with her. She was
born 5 hours after we arrived. At 2am. We cried in our memories of that day.
On Saturday morning I woke up early to pick up some
flowers and our rental car. Luckily enough the deli in the neighborhood had
white roses. I bought 3 dozen. Walking towards the car I thought of the flowers
I wouldn't get the chance to give her.
We drove to the cemetery. It was cold but it was the
bluest sky I've seen in a long time. But to think of it the day we buried her
was almost identical. We spent some time with her. We laid down the flowers one
by one with her brother and sister. We shed less tears. This was our first time
there since. I thought I'd be more emotional. Maybe it's because I believe her
essence isn't in what remains here physically but what has moved on.
We struggle with associating her memory with the pain we
feel. We are working on filtering the bad and remembering the good memories.
I'm sure that is going to be a challenge the rest of our lives.
No we stay strong until March 29th. The anniversary of
her passing. That evening I'll be reading some poems I've written through the
grieving/healing process.
Last week my sister threw her daughter a surprise birthday party at one of Seattle venues. She did a fabulous job in arranging everything in a best way. Delicious dessert table was arranged that was loved by all the guests.
ReplyDelete